Introibo ad altare Dei, Ad Deum qui laetificat juventutem meam. My Lord and my God, I firmly believe in these truths: That you are here. That you hear me. That you see me. Benedicite, spiritus, et animae iustorum, Domino. Benedicite, sancti, et humiles corde, Domino. I ask for forgiveness of my sins. And there are many. Forgive my pride. Forgive my greed. My wrath, my envy. My lust, gluttony and sloth. Mea culpa, mea culpa, Mea maxima culpa. I am weak. Why? Why would you have me sin? You cause it not, but at least allow it. Why? Why won't you strike me? I have sinned against the Heavens and Thyself. Where is, Death, thy sting? Where is, Grave, thy victory? It is in my foot. It is in my heart. I hide it, embarrassed. What could you do to it? Shame! Shame! Go! Leave me be. I am Pharaoh. I mock, I distrust. Have I not spitted upon You? Talked behind of another? Am I not like a bad jester, disfiguring truth for insult and fun? I am Barrabas. I kill, I hate. Have I not forgotten my brother? Kicked him into the ground? Am I not a despicable thief, Who seeks worldly glory, made up of riches and gold? I am Judas. I leave, I betray. I run from You, despise You. I insult. I deny. Have I not trampled You enough? Was it not my sin, which nailed you to your cross? And yet, you seem not to care. No mighty strike from Heaven falls. And the Hound of Heaven for me comes. There is no wrath, no vengeance. Only silence. Loving silence. You give, once more, a quiet call. I am Peter. Domine, tu omnia gnosti, Tu scis qui amo te.
Amen